Personal finance humor from London for Malaysian – Ahmad & Singh

These are the recent personal finance humor being told to me recently and I want to share it with you, in case you haven’t heard it before or didn’t see it in your Facebook timeline.

The Red Light District Story

Ahmad is a young Malaysian tourist on his first visit to London. He locates the red light district on the edge of SOHO and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.

They sit and talk, laugh a little, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, whereupon she gasps and runs away.
Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain Ahmad. They sit and talk, laugh a little, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. When he whispers in her ear, she screams, “No!” and walks away quickly.


The madam is surprised that this normal-looking man has managed to ask for something so kinky & outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with it. She decides to send her most experienced lady, Lola. Lola has never said no to anything; she considers it impossible that anything can surprise her. Lola approaches Ahmad. They sit and talk, laugh a little, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, “YOU MUST BE JOKING, YOU MADMAN!”, smacks him hard in the face and immediately runs out of the room.

Madam is intrigued beyond tolerance by now. She’s seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. What unspeakable act has this man been suggesting to her girls? She hasn’t done the bedroom work for a long time, but she did it for many years before she got into management. She finds the challenge irresistible.
And it’s a chance to show off to her employees, she thinks. So she goes over to him and says that she’s the best girl in the house and she is available.

She sits and talks with him. They frolic a bit, laugh a bit, drink a little, and she sits on his lap. He then he leans forward and whispers in her ear:
“Can I pay in Ringgit?”

The Ah Singh story

A wealthy Singh walks into a bank London and asks for the loan officer. He says he’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds.

“The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Singh, “and I have all the necessary papers.”

The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After Mr Singh leaves, the loan officer, the bank’s president and all their colleagues enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan.

One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, Mr Singh returns, repays the £5000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41.

The loan officer says, “Sir, I must tell you, we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow £5,000?”

The Singh replies, “Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41?”

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